Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Software industry version of Filmy dialogs (SHOLAY, DEEWAR, DON)

SHOLAY
Kitne bugs the, Sambha??
Chal Dhanno!!! Aaj Basanti ke appraisal ka sawaal hai!!
Hum angrezo ke zamane ke tester hain!!!
Ye software nahin, phasi ka phanda hain, developer… !!!
Jo jaldi gaya ..samjho mar gaya !!
Gabbar se keh do…..Ramgad walon ne software develop karna band kar diya hai……… ……..
Release kab hai….kab hai release??
Yeh chutti hamein de de PM………. nay, nay……..
Sambha, Kitna PM rakkha hai re HR hamare upar ??
Door kisi cubicle mein jab developer bura code likhta hai toh PL kehta hai :
Bete code sudhar, nahi to tester aa jayega….

Aur tum 3….. Gabbar ka software hack kar ke aa gaye…….. ..
Tumhara designation kya hai, software engineer?
Testers se keh do….wo log 2 bugs karenge toh hum 4 fix karenge….. .
3 developer aur module 6………buhut nainsafi hai!!!
Sardar, maine aapka module develop kiya hai…….. Ab test kar……… …..
Kyoonke, dekhne wali baat toh yeh hai, mujhe increment kab milega …….?
Taken From desitarka.org

DEEWAR
Aaj tak maine tumse kucch nahi maanga…lekin aaj maangta hoon…….mujhe us babe ke cubicle mein shift kara de………
Bug mil Gaya , bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!
PM to floor cleaning guy: Mere pas bangla hai, gaadi hai, paisa hai, Laptop hai, Nokia blackberry hai, mera apna cabin hai, tumhare pass kya hai ……?
Cleaning guy: Mere pas time hai.
Abdul chacha, Yeh hai cubicle number 786……… ……… .
Pehle un logon ke dastakhat leke aao jinhenone mere haat pe ye likh diya : Mera baap coder tha!
Dawar sahab, main aaj bhi pheke hue pen drive nahi uthata…… ……… ………
PM, tum mujhe conference room mein dhoond rahe ho aur mein tumhara yahan cubicle mein intezar kar raha hoon……!

Taken From desitarka.org


DON
Don on bench hai to kya hua……..fir bhi Don hai……… …
Don ko jungli software pasand hai….khatarnak aur bugs se bhara hua……… ….
"tumne ise kyon mara, don ?? Mujhe iske software ka GUI pasand nahi aaya ! "
"DSP sahab is bag ke andar itne CDs hai ki aapne puri zindagi mein nahi dekhi hongi……. …..
Arre CEO… mujhe pehechano… ………
Don ka intazar toh 11 companies ke HR kar rahe hai…. par EK baat samaj lo DON ko retain karna muskil hi nahi namumkin hai…..
Kisi bhi company ki diware itni majboot nahi jo DON ko retain kar sake….
DON ko woh company bilkul pasand nahi hai, jo kaam karaye AUR Doosri, jo paise kam de….
DON ko do type ki companies bilkul pasand nahin, EK jo Recruit karne main bhaut der kare, Aur Doosri wo jo Fauran (Immediate) Recruit kar le.
DON ke PM ki sabse badi galti ye hai… ki woh DON ka PM hai…!!!!!

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