Sunday, January 18, 2009

Indian History-Essay (Laugh Riot!!)

Full time pass :D

Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings:

The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who
lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities
had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain
from them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down
from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is
called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One
myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they
were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called
the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst
themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be
known as MeraBharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named
because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who
shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were
followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he
extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in
Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu
wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons.
Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the
Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all
his sons away to distant parts of India because they started
quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to
J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after
that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not
like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was
circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British.
They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and
steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in
French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out
when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the
queen on their side.

Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too
much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long
period.They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting
salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma
Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish
moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the
street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very
angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became
the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment,
so named because the British were quietly lootoing our country. In
1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This
increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery,
which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with
the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world
because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It
also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.

Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be
changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it
is not written on paper. The Indian parlemint consists of two houses
which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe
said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand. So
Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British
were afraid of the dark. At midnight , on August 15, there was a tryst
in parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting
the flag. Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams
and a plaque,it can be dangerous because many people died of this
plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar
where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected
leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in
Switzerland.In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun
which can shoot a coot.

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties,
left,right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This
means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be
driven by itself.

India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers
are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark
meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share
their poverty, pollution and population.


I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

This message has been posted on HMGoogleGroup by: Ashith S