Sunday, June 29, 2008

Some jokes...some mite be repoooosts.............

Smith and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They say down on a bench to rest. They overheard voices coming from a secluded spot.

Suddenly Mrs. Smith realized that a young man was about to propose.

Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged her husband and whispered, "Whistle and let that young couple know that someone can hear them."

Smith said, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me."


Old farmer Michael was dying. The family was standing around his bed.

With a low voice he sad to his wife, "Susan, when I'm dead and gone... I want you to marry farmer Joe."

"Oh no, I couldn't marry anyone after you!" Maude replies.

"But I want you to, Susan."

"But why?' Susan asks.

"Because that no good son of a b**** once cheated me in a horse trade!"


A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them.
The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn`t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We`ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, "Not yet. It`s his turn to use our the teeth.


A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put in our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realize that long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have eaten it or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food causes the most grief and suffering after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake"


After directory assistance gave Rosy, her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Adam there?" Rosy asked.
"He's in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Rosy said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, Rosy dialed again. This time a man answered.
"This is Adam," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" Rosy exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

With love from--
Take care
Have a nice day

posted by: ?*?I am Legend?*?    Jump to Message Thread on HM Google Group...