Friday, May 23, 2008

Long live Bachelors

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only
thing in life!!


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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.

--Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison

( i loved this one )
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for
another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.


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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?" She said," Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?"


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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.


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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.


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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."


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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses
to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like miniature
handcuffs... .."

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u
let him in!


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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent? "The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then
smiled " It really works ! "

• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead !

• Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

• How Dogs and Women are alike?
Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook,
and Both put too much value on kissing

• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything
and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

• Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru

• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't
njoy(marriage) , what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend ), what is permanent
is boring(wife)

• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet
each other!

• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

If we are ever to have real peace in this world we shall have to begin with the children : Mohandas K Gandhi.

posted by: Venkata Rathinam : 5Phantoms   Jump to Message Thread on HM Google Group...