Friday, May 30, 2008

CALL CENTRE GUYS....

CALL CENTRE GUYS....

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......

FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE???

TAKE A LOOK:

Tech : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer : "Ok."

Tech : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up

until this point?"

Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote

'click'."

Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am

still getting the same error message."

Tech : "Did you install the update?"

Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to

work?"

Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech : "Tell me what you've done."

Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery

disk'."

Tech : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer : "What?"

Tech : "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer : "No..."

Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech : "?!%#$", (well pretend to smile)

Tech : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can

you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech : "?!%#$"

Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer : "A white one."

Tech : "?!%#$"

Tech : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

Tech : "?!%#$"

Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal

abortion."

Tech : "?!%#$"

Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"

Tech : "?!%#$"

Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to

print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel

inside."

Tech : "?!%#$"

Tech : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open

24 hours."

Customer : "Is that Eastern time?"

Tech : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech : "?!%#$"

The best of the lot

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that

his computer is faulty.

Tech : What's the problem?

User : There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech : (keeps quite for moment)

Tech : You'll need a new power supply.

User : No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User : No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the

startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech : 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is

right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech : '?!%#$'

Tech : Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but

there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User : I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the

CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

(10 minutes later.)

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come

with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

(1 hour later.)

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech : '?!%#$'

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and

he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech : Then what did he say?

User : He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with

NOSMOKE.

Height Of all (Too Good)

Tech : I need a product identification number right now and

may I help u in finding it out?

Customer : sure

Tech : left click on start and then do u find 'My

Computer'?

Customer : I did left click but how the hell do I find your

computer?


posted by: Srikanth   Jump to Message Thread on HM Google Group...

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